Discipline and Strategies-Ness Lake

Discipline
“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in.” Proverbs 3:11

 RELATIONSHIP
 Let us always be reminded that God has justified us through the loving relationship that we have with Jesus Christ. The reason why we obey him is because we love him.
Ephesians 2:8-9: “For it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works so that no one can boast.”
Love and grace is the core of our relationship with God. This relationship is not because of our obedience, but it is because of love that we obey. Therefore, let us discipline out of a relationship of love. Model the character of God. Discipline for the well being of the camper.
Hebrews 10:10-11 - God disciplines us for our good.
 The most effective form of discipline is based on relationship. Get to know your campers. The campers are more likely to listen and respect your authority if they know that you respect and care for them.
 Discipline in love not anger. If you are angry do not deal with the situation immediately. Tell the camper that it will be dealt with later after you have cooled down.
 Discipline -> “Disciple”
-consequences are important to guide them and show them appropriate ways of dealing with situations.
-Model God’s unconditional love and forgiveness for your campers.
 PRAISE GOOD BEHAVIOR: give more positive attention than negative attention.
 Have clear expectations laid out for the campers. Let them set the boundaries and consequences along with the reasons for the expectations.
 NEVER physically discipline.
 LOVE does not mean PUSH OVER. God is a God who loves us, but disciplines us when it is necessary. Don’t confuse loving your campers with ignoring and passively accepting the wrongs they do.

 STEPS
 Remove danger
 Stop child from doing wrong
 Ask what is going on and try to understand (take time to hear all sides)
 Take involved campers aside for a one-on-one
-tell camper what they did wrong (be consistent)
-talk to them, hear their story, believe their perspective
-encourage them to do better, talk about other possible solutions, rather than guilt.
-show them are valuable and loved by taking the time to hear them out and discipline in love rather than in anger.

 Never take members of the opposite sex for a one-on-one. Go to their counselor, and allow them to become involved in the discipline.

 Possible Consequences: limiting activity, separation, restitution, etc.
-consequences should match the misbehavior in severity.

 Never use food/basic needs to control the child.

 Remember the Head Leaders are there to support you, and if the situation escalates beyond what you are capable of dealing with get help. This is not a sign of weakness, but rather strength of character, showing there is recognition of all the other responsibilities you have. The body of Christ is a rope not a chain. When one part of the chain breaks, the whole chain breaks. When one strand of a rope breaks the other strands carry the load.

 If a child is trying to attack you:
-can not use physical force.
-HUGS! If they are that close to you they can’t hurt you, and yet you are not hurting them either.
-If any physical harm occurs and incident report is required to be filled out immediately.


Conflicts within Staff
Rule of Christ: Matthew 18:15 – 18 : “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take on e or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church: and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

Rule of Christ in NLBC format: If you have a problem/issue with someone else on staff, go talk to them. Don’t let the sun go down while your angry, for this only develops bitterness, grudges, and ultimately disunity. If talking to them does not work, involve the Head Leader. If this does not work the situation will be handled by Paul Bailey.

Confrontation: a deliberate attempt to help another person examine the consequences of some aspect of their behaviour. It is an invitation to self-examination and change.
1. Confront in order to show love and concern – not to set the other person straight! Do not confront if you do not intend to increase your involvement with the other person, and to follow the situation through.
2. Be willing to have your view of the situation changed. The purpose of confrontation is to remove separation and to bring both people together.
3. Confront behaviour primarily; be slow to confront motivation.
4. Be specific – stay away from generalities. Example: “you always:, or “you never”.
5. Don’t “add up” all your grievances, and then attack. (love does not keep records of wrongs. 1 Cor. 13).
6. Timing is always important.
7. Wait until you are not angry anymore.
8. Once the situation is resolved forget it!
9. Generally the stronger the relationship, the more powerful the confrontation may be.



Steps of confrontation:
i) State purpose
ii) What happened? Description of visible behavior
iii) How it made you feel. Use personal pronouns (I, me, my), NOT “You made me angry”, etc.
iv) Feed-back leading to understanding and solutions

“As a prisoner for the Lord, then. I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit – just as you were called to one hope when you were called – one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. (Ephesians 4:1-6)